Crown is a very, very weird game. It's essentially six variants of the same thing, jumping over obstacles and catching things. You can pick any of the six minigames from the start - a process which is a game in itself, as the menu is constantly revolving and you have to hit fire when it's on the level you want. Each level is themed around a country, so for the British level you play a dog in knight's armour jousting, in the Russian level you play a bear doing Cossack dancing (the only level that strays from the run and jump formula), on the Indian level you play a sword-wielding elephant, and so on. The levels are all linear scrolling screens where you have to collect a certain number of items before the timer runs out. For the Indian level (the only one I managed to progress on) your elephant is avoiding bananas and sucking up parrots through his trunk (you'd think it would be the other way around!). If you manage to collect 10 or so parrots before the time runs out then you proceed to the next level. It's as simple as that...if only it weren't for the sluggish controls and exact timing requirements. Once you finish the first running level you have a fight level where you square off against one of the characters from the other levels and have to swing your sword at them until they keel over, while they do the same to you. You can jump, duck, and parry, but the best thing seemed to be to wildly swing and hope for the best. I managed to finish the first of these fights, but the next level was more of the same running and parrot sucking followed by a fight against another of the animals, so I presume it would go on until you defeat all of the other animals and then, who knows, maybe you get to eat their flesh in a bizarre victory ceremony, too. As you can imagine, the levels get progressively harder, and it was hard enough to complete the first one, so I'm not going to take it any further. Onwards!
Next up on the randometer is...Super Meat Boy! Well, that'll be interesting. It's one of the most well known indie games of the last few years and I've owned a copy for years. Never actually played it though. It's renowned for being ridiculously hard...so that'll be fun!