I know, I know, I'm weak. According to a YouTube walkthrough, you can beat Magnetik Tank in about 8 minutes. Should be easy, right? I've had about 10 attempts now, and I've managed to get about a minute in. Magnetik Tank is hard in a way that many old '80s Spectrum games were hard. You only get one life, and if you die you're sent right back to the beginning. I wouldn't mind that so much if it weren't for two things - the death/intro cycle takes longer than my average life, which gets frustrating fast, and secondly, compounding that, when you die you get an annoying French guy laughing at you, and the intro consists of said annoying French guy taunting you in French. I've no idea what he's saying, and it's probably a good thing he doesn't know what I'm saying back at him. While most people think of things sticking together when they think 'magnetic', here's it's the opposite, it's more like mag-lev trains. That means that instead of sticking to things, your tank slips and slides all over the place. That's kind of the point of the game, but it doesn't make it fun. You have to guide your tank through an Ultimate-style isometric maze trying to find...actually, I have no idea what you're trying to find. The final screen of the walkthrough appears to show you firing at some kind of flashing gem, but I have no idea what that signifies or why you're doing it. Things you touch will kill you instantly, and the sluggish controls combined with the slippery surfaces mean that you'll be hitting things an awful lot. 8 minutes. 8 minutes...it's not that long...I keep thinking I should go back and stick this one out, but I really just can't be bothered. Onwards.
Next up on the randometer is...Visions of Aftermath: The Boomtown! It's a post-apocalyptic RPG from the late '80s...could be fun.